9.17.14: Global – (Lifestyle):I recently attended a funeral and I was reminded that we only get a few years to raise our children and spend quality time with them.
If those years slip by without bonding with our young, we may spend the rest of our lives – and even into death – paying for it.
Nearly a decade ago I met this wonderful elderly lady who told me I had something within me that would turn the world on it’s ear. After doing some digging, she discovered I had two sons and told me they were good children who were loved. This sweet lady told me that the world would sweep me away into a vortex once it saw my gifts, but before it did she had one request: finish raising your sons.
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At that time I was a mother working hard to raise decent children and had no aspirations other than to teach English at the secondary level, so needless to say I looked at her strangely when she spoke into my life. I told her my situation and she smiled, nodded her head and said with a twinkle in her eye:
“Your presence is powerful in a way that I have yet to see in many people. But because I know you will be sought after sooner rather than later, heed my words about your children.”
She went on to describe how she and her husband dined with President Jimmy Carter, were heavily involved in politics at all levels and was routinely invited to social functions where she carved out a strong political name for her family, while the husband ran the business.
By all accounts, they were extremely successful. But by the time they both realized the children they loved were on the back burner, it was too late.
The resentment was incredibly high and one child, who is now in her fifties, despised them to the bitter end. My friend said in retrospect, she believed buying nice things, living in a beautiful home with a nanny and traveling to wonderful places made up for the lack of time and attention.
The sadness in my friend’s eyes made me vow to never put my career and wants above my children. The results have been nothing short of wonderful and before my dear friend slipped fully into dementia, she hugged me, teary-eyed and all, and said: ” well done mommy!”
Fast forward to the funeral; one of her children got up and said she despised her parent even as he laid in repose. She felt he was hard and uncompromising and loved their mother more than he loved them.
She shed not a single tear and seemed almost gleeful. Even in death, she defied his last wishes… it broke my heart.
Parents please listen to your children and spend quality time with them while you can. You don’t get a second chance in those formative years between birth and sixteen. Your money means nothing when they feel alone with no adult support.
You can always be rich and famous, but don’t find yourself spending your golden years trying to buy the love of children that you had free of charge.
Thanks for reading!
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